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You Had Me at "Jell-O"
This Must Be What Love Tastes Like...
A Heapin' Helpin' of Reality...
You Must Think I'm Crazy...
As If You Had Nothing Better to Do...
With Friends Like That...
Science Friction...
Bob Roberts was elected to a Senate seat in 1963. At 6' 4", the senator from the small town of Smithville in Northern Idaho was a big man with even larger aspirations. Before being elected, "Big Bob" as he was known, ran a meat and three called "Bob's Diner" in the quaint little burg. Bob's home-style cooking was a favorite among the townspeople, but Bob's was especially well known for its bodacious breakfasts. Big Bob, however was not satisfied with just fryin' up the bacon… he wanted to bring some of it home too. And bring it, he did! Bob's ability to ply his constituents

with government goodies rivaled any pork-loving politician you could name. His popularity was evident and the reasons were clear.

"Bobby loved his family and he loved Idaho more than he loved life." reminisced Bob's eldest son John. "We were shocked when we heard the news. We'll miss him, dearly."

As the reader has probably guessed, Bob Roberts passed away. "Dangdest thing I ever seen!" said Phil Holt of Spoonhandle Georgia. "One second I'm a' talkin' to ol' Bob there on the floor of the Senate; next thang you know he done fell over in his cheer deader n' dirt." But that's not the strangest part of this story. You see; Big Bob Roberts was found dead in May of 2009, but the coroner on the scene determined he passed away some 10 years earlier, in or around August of 1999. This means Bob was elected not once, but three times since his passing. Oddly, his voting record didn't change that much in the last decade, so one could understand how his fellow Senators hadn't noticed.  The joke floating about was that the only person marking his senate vote "present" more than Barack Obama was Bob Roberts.

When asked about Bob, Mary Jones a fellow Senator from Idaho had this to say, "I mean… did he smell funny? Yeah, I guess… But so do half the Senators on the floor. I noticed he wasn't very active but I just figured he was tired. I mean, he was like 80 something years old, for cryin' out loud!"

A memorial service was held in Bob's honor last Thursday evening, but due to a pressing Senate vote Bob could not attend.

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